Sunday, 11 March 2012
We can't keep fighting like this, and when I get upset you can't just get mad and leave. I don't understand what you want me to do? I can't just push aside depression, it's something I have to deal with every single fucking day of my life. I wish I could push it aside, and I would if I could, but I can't. And if you can't handle me like this, what makes you think you'll be able to handle me the rest of the time? Maybe you're not ready for this.. Or maybe I'm not.
Saturday, 10 March 2012
I haven't been this upset ina long time. My bestfriend and I have gotten into a big fight, I don't want to associate with him anymore, however. I know I'll miss him a lot. This sucks, people have been calling me fat and ugly all day. And to top it all off, I'm in a huge fight with my boyfriend. Some days are better than others.. Night!
Friday, 9 March 2012
Thursday, 8 March 2012
How does one really know if they're in love? Can love be measured by age, possibly days, maybe even just the looks you give to eachother? All of this comes across my mind every once in a while, and it makes me wonder. Or maybe, when we say things like "You haven't been dating long enough to be in love." We're just fooling ourselves, sure these things take time, and they do. I'm sure of it.. It's definitely not something at first sight, I believe that love at first sight is a myth, it would be implying that love is based almost completely on looks, we all know that's not true. Or at least I hope we do, anyways. As I was saying. Theses things take time, but sometimes not a lot. It could take a day of talking, an hour of silence. Maybe just walking around while you guys keep looking back at eachother, whatever it is. It's a wonderful thing, people wonder why we chase love around, I think it's just because it's the closest thing to magic that a human wild ever feel. Ta-ta for now!
I was late for school today, 2 hours. I cut my foot on my bed frame, couldn't find my jacket, twisted my ankle running to school, and got yelled at. It was not a good time in my life, but things are looking up! I had my last counselling appointment today, meaning I'm doing better with my depression, still going to anxiety groups. But it's alright! In other news, my boyfriend and I are hanging out tomorrow, I can't wait! I'm also going to write a book, for myself. So if I ever do find myself back in a depressive state, I'll go see what to do. Stay tuned!
I can't sleep for the like of me, I wish I could but I can't. I was thinking a lot about surrounding myself with new people, you know.. Out with the old, in with the new. Starting with Adam. I liked him for over a year, but my friends and family are right. It's time for something new.. Even if it means starting over. I've deleted him off facebook, and my phone. I don't want any contact with him until I'm ready. Maybe I'll be able to go to sleep now. Nighty-night!